Photo by Alfred Schrock on Unsplash
Ophelia
It saddens me that I am nothing waiting to be something
Never established yet deeply rooted
Hard to remember impossible to forget
Crisp Midwestern autumn
Chilled New England nights
A southern summer whirlwind
that haunts and tugs and teases
It wakes me when the moon is high and the grass is damp and the pond is still
I daren’t forget
Oh woe is me Ophelia girl cries as she is pushed to the background
by how interesting they find her
They talk of her yet where is she
The river is graced with white flowers
and you forget the things that lay beneath the rippling surface
By the time you realize I’m gone you’ve already forgotten me
But I sit in the bottom of your heart and haunt and tug and tease
when the moon is high and the grass is damp and the pond is still
But in the dim light of reality
You never knew me at all
I am something yes
But not to you
Emotional Hangover
Today I feel numb
The end of storm that leaves nothing
wreckage in its wake
And it’s hard to feel when everything
Has poured out like a glass already half empty
But I can’t stop the thoughts in my head
And today my head hurts
My insides are rotting
And I want to throw up all the bad
But the bad is stuck to the sides of my brain
Old gum I can’t scrape off a table
I don’t think even she can change me
And her chapped lips taste metallic
But I kiss her anyways because I love her
My Strength Test
I wish you could feel what I feel
On the spectrum of absurdity
From such an obscene high to being here now
The strength test at a carnival
hitting the sledge hammer
And watching the ball slam into the bell
Watching the ball slam into me
when I had to leave
The way I felt when I somberly climbed out of the car
The wash of sadness that came over me when
I opened the door and stood in the suddenly too empty living room
Alone
Emotion filled my heart wanting to escape
But no tears came
Is it possible to be so full of empty
It choked me and left me feeling lost
All my happiness drove away with the car
I walked up to my room in the dark
Because I didn’t want to see the lonely hallway
The bare walls staring at me in sorrow as I dragged my feet
It’s a strength test
My cat greeted me on my bed
Unaware of all the things in my head
All the feelings in my heart
The sledge hammer hitting my heart
Over and over as I
lay down without someone next to me
And the bed felt cold