“Self-Sabotage,” “Freely Drifting,” and “Blissful Anguish”

self sabotage
Photo by Luca Annoni on Unsplash

Self-Sabotage

Like a cross stitch

I tied down your limbs

thread by thread

preventing you from flying

Like quicksand

I kept pouring

bucket by bucket

even as you surfaced for air

When I looked up at the culprit

I stared into my own eyes

Freely Drifting

The greatest of pains

cannot dissipate

They attached themselves to a sailboat

finding a safe harbor in your heart

ready to be released into the sea

But, always safely returning at dusk

To ignore them

is to refuse acknowledgement

of the powerful force it took

To set you free

Blissful Anguish

Splashing on the surface

children giggle in bliss

as the sun glistens with clarity

A place I used to swim

Until a glass gate bursts open beneath me

sucking me underneath and

locking shut

Pounding my fists

Tears invisible in the water

Aching to reach the surface again

Aching to live in naivety

Aching to dispel the pain

I surrender

after years of desperation

A stillness washing over me

as I peer upward in awe

A view from a different angle

I swim here now

In the depths of sorrow

In the heights of happiness

About the Author

Maria Volodkevich

Maria Volodkevich, a U.S. Air Force Academy graduate, skydiving instructor, and collegiate swimmer, dove into poetry just as she did into the swimming pool and out of the airplane. As an emerging poet, she uses poetry as a coping mechanism and an effective way to encapsulate her emotions while serving in the U.S. Air Force. From losing a friend to suicide, the dissolution of her marriage, and the unraveling of her self-worth, her poetry captures how time spent grieving can set us free from imprisonment.