STILL
(Upon Awakening)

Magic will not save us.

Still

when you dream

you’re in Vegas

with your ex

doesn’t that mean

life’s a gamble?

Still

as long as birds sing

outside your window

upon awakening

and your eBay search

for framed cat prints

still arrives in your inbox

and your alarm still

gently reminds you

doesn’t that mean

your best work

is yet to be done?

Hoard all you want.

What is essential is

still

out there.

in here.

New York Times>Wedding Notices

The bitter bile

rises

but the throat

closes –

what was that?

A clench?

a scream?

Going up?

sliding down?

Is it for “not me:”

the pretty girl with

a face full of happiness?

I had that

once

with him,

didn’t I?

.!.

Walking into the marriage

so bright and fanciful, so...

...what’s the word?

Trusting.

Does she know she has no idea?

Is that why the bitter bile burns?

Discovering Magenta

It is important to share the same philosophy of crayons as your drawing partner.

Do you both believe that accidental breakage – unless it’s a really good color and

it's happened before – should not be rebuked?

Good.

After a break, do you each then – at least for a while – try to press softer

so as not to fracture any more than absolutely necessary?

Fine.

Do you agree to the compromise of putting most colors back in the box

but leaving the basics: black, brown and of course all the sparkly colors –

spread out on the table between you?

Excellent.

Then you will be successful coloring partners.

And when one of you discovers (hidden in a misleadingly bland wrapper)

the most achingly beautiful pink that could ever exist

you both begin The Search in earnest because someone –

no blame now! – accidentally put it back in the box.

You must share the burden of hunting through the pinks and the reds –

try a purple, you never know –

All you know is that you

must find that pink!

Don’t worry.

You will.