Photo by Maxime Galliot on Unsplash
Introduction
I opened an email that’s subject line was, "Discovery of Self Through Reading and Writing." It was from Sandra Squire Fluck, editor, The Write Launch. Sandra laid out a series of questions asking about one’s writing journey. I came to a prompt, referencing what one’s first time at the library was like as a child. I immediately began remembering my eight-year-old self, lost in a book, as I sat on the floor in the corner of our public library. As I read further, I came across a list of titles Sandra had offered to us. I thought she must have written *The Muse You Can Become* with me in mind.
I found inspiration for this story and I am truly honored to share it here.
As I step through the library door, a soft, comforting scent drifts toward me, leaving me feeling calm. Dad whispers, “Have a look around. It is truly remarkable. I’ll be in this main room if you need me.” As I look around, I quickly realize Dad was right. This library is not like any other I’ve ever seen. It is special. I meander mesmerized with my head on a swivel, looking up at the seemingly endless shelves of books towering above me. The bookcases are a warm, golden oak wood, each one labeled with identifying brass markers. Hundreds and hundreds of books. As I walk in and out of rooms, I come across an area that has several beautiful book displays on long tables. As I encircle the tables, I am drawn to a selection of handsomely displayed art books.
I lift a large, heavy book off one table and shuffle over to a quiet corner and sit on the floor. Cross-legged, I leaf through the giant book, dense on my lap. I dreamily enter another world as I turn each page. It’s a book of spectacular paintings with information about each artist. I smooth both my hands over the satiny pages as I carefully continue to study each page with images more stunning than the preceding one. My eight-year-old self officially decides I will one day be an artist as I sit immersed.
Dad walks over and quietly states, “If you like that book, you’ll love the other art books on the second floor.” I gleefully whisper, “Oh yes.” Then I hand the book over to Dad. The librarian walks over. She asks, “Would you like to know how we keep track of the many books housed right here in this library?” I nod in affirmation and follow her. She explains as we walk. “We use a cataloging system called The Dewey Decimal System.” I thought that was a funny name and let out a giggle. She elaborates further on the history of the library’s system of categorization. I follow her and Dad over to what looks like a series of cubbies in a large wooden cabinet. Each square, wooden box drawer has a brass handle. The curved handle fits a finger perfectly, enabling easy drawer removal. Each section of boxes has a number and a grouping title. Dad asks me if there is a favorite artist I’d like to look up. I answer, “Vincent Van Gogh.” The librarian nods yes and explains we will look under the classification of Arts and Recreation and a sub-category, Painting. She opens one drawer, and I watch, fascinated, as she flips through the cards and immediately finds many books on the paintings and life of Vincent Van Gogh. All are on the second floor. I am excited about going upstairs.
I walk to the middle of the main room and I’m even more amazed by this library. I gaze upward at the beautiful ornate iron railings and wrought iron stair risers as they spiral narrowly to the three floors above. The staircase adds to the library’s mystique as it twists and turns. I step up onto the first, second and third step and immediately notice when I look down below my feet, I can see clear through to the floor below. That doesn’t feel right to me. It leaves me feeling nauseous whenever I look down or even think of it. I feel shaken as I realize what this means. Unfortunately, the books I want to borrow are upstairs. I recognize I have a fear of heights. I decide to see if there is an elevator. A few minutes later, I find out the answer was no. So, I bravely attempt the climb, but as soon as I get up ten or more stairs, I immediately become weak in the knees, feel nauseous again, and need to go back down. I feel defeated.
Dad brings me special books from upstairs. He says when I’m ready, I will soon go up and see the beautiful book displays myself. He was certain I’d eventually do so, enticing me to challenge myself and overcome my fear of heights. I attempt the stairs a few more times on subsequent visits and I even try pulling myself up while sitting backward on the stairs. It doesn’t work, and I begin to feel frustrated and sad about the library. Dad knew this and explained how the power of suggestion, a motivational self-hypnosis technique, could help me. He said the only thing was that I must believe it and see myself in my mind’s eye climbing the stairs. I accepted this as my first motivational challenge using self-hypnosis.
A few weeks after our first visit to the library, I told Dad I was ready to learn how to overcome my fear. We talked through my anxiety about heights at home just before heading to the library. Dad asked me to repeat after him my desire to be on top of the stairs, comfortable and unafraid. He’d repeat softly, “Close your eyes, listen and repeat, I am fearless. I can climb the stairs at the library and come back down.” A couple times a week and just before leaving for the library, Dad emphasized saying these words out loud, and I practiced using the power of suggestion. Over the next two months, I followed Dad’s instructions, and one Saturday, something extraordinary happened. I entered the library and walked directly over to the staircase. Dad followed me as I climbed up the steps without a negative feeling of uneasiness. As soon as I reached the top, Dad hugged me and guided my way over to the art books I so desperately wanted to see.
The library incident was decades ago. Since then, I’ve become a visual fine artist in both painting and photography. I’ve lost myself in countless books and am enamored with the written word, never dreaming I’d one day be a published writer. My father has long since passed. He never learned of my newfound love of writing, now, in the Autumn of my life. If he were with me today, I know exactly what he would say. He’d assert he knew it was an eventuality all along. He’d be reminiscent of us reading the dictionary together and playing word games where he stressed the importance of building a vocabulary when I was a child. Then he’d remind me about our library, and how I won my challenge. Saying, you put your mind and dedication to it and every other goal since. He’d also declare, I think our library housed more than books. It offered the world to us, just for the asking.
ADDENDA
These are instructions for learning and practicing self-hypnosis through the power of suggestion along with relaxation breathing techniques as told to me by my father. He taught them to me when I was a child. I still practice them today.
Self-Hypnosis with Suggestion
- First understand. What does a hypnotic trance feel like?
Each night, just before falling asleep, we lapse into a kind of twilight period, much like a waking hypnotic trance. A similar example is when driving long distances; the monotony of the center white line can lull one into a hypnotic state of being in-between wakefulness and sleep. The ability to recapture that place is much like being in a state of light awakening hypnosis, and understanding how it feels is essential to learning how to achieve and use this powerfully positive tool.
- Second, acknowledge out loud. I am about to feel myself into hypnosis. I shall awaken when ready, or as necessary.
- Next, follow these instructions.
Sit comfortably upright, relaxing completely with both feet flat on the floor, hands on lap. Find and look at a focal point (of your own choosing) ahead of you and relax your eyes to an almost full blur as you gaze at it. Then focus on your posture and your body, beginning with the softening of your neck, then shoulders, back, legs, feet and then to your hands relaxed in your lap. After a minute or less, feel your fingers lose contact with your lap as they become weightless, and with eyes still fixed on your focal point, concentrate on your breathing: in slowly through your nose, out in a low hushing movement letting air out with your jaw relaxed and mouth slightly open, shushing as if trying to quiet someone. You will begin to feel your eyelids grow heavy, and as you focus on this feeling of weightlessness, gently close your eyes completely. As you accept your deepening state of relaxation, you will feel an even deeper trance-like state, as you are self-induced into a light waking hypnosis. Once you are ready to end your session, count backwards from five to one and awaken, refreshed and renewed. This entire process takes less than five minutes.
- Finally, when awakened, complete the process with the addition of suggestion.
Once you have perfected the initial technique of entering the first light awakening phase of hypnosis, you can begin to incorporate suggestion which should first start with your writing the things you want to overcome, get better at, deal with, and the like. Before each self-hypnosis session, recite your memorized priorities one by one. For example, if fearful of public speaking: I will become comfortable, at ease and a natural at public speaking. Formulate your suggestions concisely, using positive terms. Write them on index cards first. Then, while under hypnosis, the idea embodied in your written suggestion will hover in your mind and make the essential positive impression on your subconscious.
Breathing Techniques
This simple breathing exercise is essential in overcoming anxiety and stress. It is best if practiced routinely, as it then becomes second nature. It takes so little time, but its benefits are essential. Use this technique before a stressful activity or just simply to calm a hectic day. This is a short meditation technique, and you can do it anywhere, anytime.
- First, set your mind on a positive thought.
- Next, take in a deep breath, slowly inhaling air through your nose.
- Hold for a brief count of five. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Each time you exhale, concentrate on your breathing, out in a low hushing movement letting air out with your jaw relaxed and mouth slightly open, shushing as learned in hypnosis. Sometimes, you will think of a positive thought as you breathe, but when you get great at your breathing, you will think of nothing. Afterward, you will be completely relaxed and refreshed.
- Repeat for a minimum of three times.
- Over time, hold the inward breath longer, count of ten or more.